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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Halloween Fun

As most of the world knows, Halloween was last Sunday, and, boy, was it fun, fun, fun.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love halloween.  How many other times in the year do you get to dress up like someone who's seen too many monster movies and stalk around the neighborhood mooching candy off the other houses?  I, myself, bought a hunting ghillie suit and wore that (I'll probably put up a video of me wearing it).  Tree-man, pile of Weed, sniper, bush-man, and "what-the-hell-is-that?" are all names I was given the Friday prior at school.  Oh, BTW, there's a story that follows that.  I'm kinda going of on a tangent here, but this is funny.

So, me and my friends were staying after school because there was a quote-unquote "party" for one of the clubs my friends were part of.  So, we're all there, chillin'.  One guy is dressed up as a Hunter Zombie from Left 4 Dead, another guy is dressed up as that blue and yellow dog-like pokemon-thing with the white spikes, I'm in my ghillie suit, one guy is dressed up in a big, bulky Bionicle Titan Axonn (I had never pegged him as the type to collect Bionicles, much less dress as one for Halloween), and the last guy was "normal man" (he'd forgotten to wear a costume).  We're sitting there looking awesome, and one of our friends who had graduated the year before shows up, dressed as Ellis (Pills Here!).  The six of us piled into his station wagon and drove down to the K-Mart that's down the street from school.  On the way there and back, we cranked up the music. We went through repeats of "What is Love?", one iteration of "I'm On a Boat", and one play of a techno song to piss off the guy dressed as the Hunter.  On the way back, we played "Jizz in My Pants" and "Like a Boss" twice.  (We actually pulled back into the school parking lot with the last few verses of "Like a Boss" playing at max. volume with the AP of Disciplinary Action right behind us).  Now, with the six of us in there, it was a pretty tight squeeze.  Axonn had to take off his chest plate and helmet to just barely fit into his seat, I was to his left, and to my left was pokemon guy, whose costume was also a little bulky.  Needless to say I was quite squished.  "Normal guy" was in the rear-facing seat, Ellis was driving, and Hunter was riding shotgun. We all drove down the street, head bobbing to the music and doing rave hand motions at stoplights.  We get to K-mart and we walk in like this is absolutely normal for us. One guy bought some batteries, another guy bought a toy for his cousin, and the rest of us went straight for the halloween costumes.  I even sat down among the Christmas trees in the "Thinker" pose.  We all got weird looks from everyone while we were there.  When we drove back, we put Pokemon guy in the rear-facing seat, into which he barely fit (He refused to take his helmet off).  When we parked the car behind the school, we got out and headed back to where we were hanging out before we went to K-mart.  As we were walking away, we heard this slow, faint "thump, thump, thump".  We turned around and pokemon guy was still in the rear-facing seat.  We got him out, but it was still funny as all hell.  Me and my friends are an interesting bunch to say the least.

Now, back to the subject at hand.  I went out trick-or-treating on halloween night.  I mean, come on, it's free candy.  I went down to the semi-mobile-home community in my neighborhood.  It is inhabited by primarily retired folks and they don't much like visitors on the property.  So, they usually set up a table outside the gates and they always have these paper lunch sacks filled to the brim with candy.  Well, I walk up in my ghillie suit and I received a bag from one of the people sitting behind the table.  There was an Army veteran with his back turned to me talking to someone else.  The vet turns around and, without any warning, proceeds to clock me in the jaw with a very strong right hook.  Since I was wearing the well-ghillied hood and a balaclava underneath it, the blow was cushioned enough so as not to bruise, but it hurt a whole hell of a lot.  I took a few dazed steps back, clutching my jaw with my free hand.  I didn't attempt to block and reverse the hit for two reasons: One, I had no idea it was coming.  I was busy fiddling around in the sack I was carrying my candy in, and, second, it was late.  I was tired and was coming off of the adrenaline high I was on from going to the shooting range with my uncle and grandfather.  Even if I had prior warning, my reflexes would have been too slow to counter to move pulled by the veteran.  After he realized I wasn't a real sniper, he apologized at least five times and offered to get me some ice or something.  I declined the offer, telling him he was just doing his job and it was about time I had gotten that reaction out of someone.  I went home and fell asleep on the couch about 45 minutes later.

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